What to do when bad things happen

What to do when bad things happen

Sometimes bad things happen and when you’re in the midst of it life can feel a bit overwhelming.

The issue isn’t so much finding the meaning in why that bad thing happened as sometimes there is no reason to be found. And as meaning making machines we can search and search and tie ourselves in knots trying make sense of chaos when there is none to be found. Things happen.

Rather, the issue is when and how to acknowledge that whatever has happened HAS happened, to accept it as part of your life’s rich tapestry and keep moving on.

Acceptance doesn’t mean denying your feelings, they WILL still bubble up sometimes and catch you off guard. You WILL have amazing moments and you WILL have ones when it feels like the light of life has been turned off. It’s knowing that that is natural and ok.
Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting either, it’s more a state of noticing, of mindful observation of the various aspects to the story of your life so far.
What happens to us doesn’t have to define us.
You might not have had a choice about some of the elements that are in your tapestry but you DO have a choice as to how you weave it together.

Huge love xx

Is NLP all mind tricks and magic?

Is NLP all mind tricks and magic?

‘I need you to do some of your NLP things on me?!’

It’s a plea I hear fairly frequently and I may well be different other NLP coaches out there but I don’t ‘do’ things ‘to’ you so much as help you better understand yourself and the world around you, with the help of the understanding NLP has given me.

And yes, there are tools within NLP that can help that change and understanding come more quickly but please don’t think of it as being a set of mind tricks that someone can ‘do’ to you.

YOU do the work (I’m there facilitating but YOU’RE the one whose mind is getting a run for it’s money!)

YOU get to understand how powerful YOUR mind is because when whatever shift you’re after happens you’ll notice that nothing has really changed other than your perspective.

NLP is a life hack….because all we really need to live a life less complicated is to understand our experience of life comes from the inside out. When we REALLY get that, life gets a WHOLE lot easier xxx

Creating a balanced life

I’ve got no interest in building a hugely successful career/business at the detriment of the rest of my life.

I LOVE my work AND I love my family, my friends and having fun too , and see no reason why I can’t enjoy ALL of this. So I do.

I make conscious choices every day to create the balance in my life and work that works for me and the people I love.

I’m fortunate that running a business means I get to call the shots although that doesn’t mean it’s easy….for example without careful planning and executing on those plans I could easily end up with little income down the line!

I say that because there are pros and cons to ALL of our life choices….whether you’re in business, have a job or are caring for your loved ones, it’s important not to get distracted by other people’s circumstances.

And we’ve ALL had the grass is greener and it’s easier for them moments!

‘They have more time.’

‘They have more money.’

‘They have a better job.’

‘They have a better boss.’

‘They have children.’

‘They don’t have children’.

‘They don’t have MY children.’

‘They have more support.’

‘They have a partner.’

‘They don’t have MY partner.’

‘They don’t have the health difficulties I do.’

‘They have more confidence.’

And on the comparisons go to convince yourself it’s easier for ‘them’ than it is you to experience a balanced and fulfilling life.

But THEY ARE NOT YOU so stop giving your power away!!

No matter how you are spending your time right now, YOU are the centre of YOUR life & YOU are the driving force behind your experience. We ALL have priorities to juggle to experience the life and work we REALLY want.

It’s about feeling in the driving seat of your life, that it’s YOUR choice to be doing what you’re doing and you’re not constantly dropping balls as a result and then beating yourself up at your crap juggling skills!

It’s about becoming aware of what you want and figuring out how you can make that happen.

Because you can!

#beworklifehappy

Do you want to break free?

I know, you keep thinking you want more out of your life and work than you’ve experienced so far but you’re just not quite sure how to go about actually making it happen. So you stay doing what your doing, feeling more and more fed up and frustrated by the day.

That’s ok though…so put away that stick you’ve been beating yourself up with (yeah I seen you)!

You’re far from alone and while you might not believe it right now, you’ve got absolutely everything you need to take that next step and really truly start creating the life and work you want.

Sure you keep saying you don’t know what you want…but we both know you’re kidding yourself on so let’s stop playing that game. You’re just scared that admitting what you REALLY want means changing a lotta stuff (like no longer settling for the less than best version of yourself) and you’re not sure if you’re READY for that yet.

I get it, because I’ve been there…that gorgeously familiar comfort zone that sucks the life blood from you. You’re desperate to break free but terrified at the same time as it’s all you know.

If that’s you, really hear this – everything WILL be ok.
I’m not saying it’s going to be smooth and I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, you’re exploring uncharted territory after all, but YOU WILL BE OK.

Pinkie promise.

So my invitation to you is this, create the space and time to listen and trust yourself.

Truly admit to and own your dreams and aspirations to create the life and work you REALLY want. And then do something about it.

With love xx

 

 

The value of emotional intelligence

The value of emotional intelligence

It’s our emotional intelligence is often the difference that makes the difference.

Of course you need hard tangible doing skills to practically DO the thing you want to….but to do it well and to contribute effectively to the team and world around you, that’s all about softer skills…the HOW you do things.

Whether you’re the leader of your own business, an organisation, department or whatever it is you ‘do’, the know, like, trust factor matters. While it’s more commonly known in business, it’s vital for every aspect of your life and work.

You need to know, like and trust YOURSELF first and foremost (EQ Self Perception)

Other people need to KNOW who you are…so you need to be ok other people being aware of you because if they don’t know that you even exist, how can they consider you for opportunities? (EQ: Self Expression, Interpersonal Relationships, Decision Making)

Are you LIKEABLE…by the people that matter to you? Likeability isn’t about being all rainbows and unicorns…it’s about being aware that people gravitate to people who are like them. Are you attracting the people you want? (EQ: Self Perception, Self Expression, Interpersonal Relationships, Stress Management)

Are you TRUSTED? This involves all of the categories on this EQ wheel as when you are showing up as the natural (and as such best) version of you, it’s easy for you to do what you say you will. More than that, you’ll have a consistency of character that will help people know what to expect from you without you even saying!

And that combined with them knowing who who are, what you do AND liking you is a powerful mix.

Which is one of the MANY reasons emotional
intelligence has been shown to be the juice to our success.

And the great thing is it’s pretty easy to develop!!

I wonder which aspect of your EQ would make the biggest difference to you if you were to develop it?

 
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