Stop overthinking your Customer Connection Calls

Stop overthinking your Customer Connection Calls

The following is based on connection calls for coaching services and you’ll see common threads throughout that you can relate to your own service & even some product based businesses. It’s all about helping your client get clear on what they want and being honest and open about who you can help them with that. 

PS. Being honest means if you don’t genuinely feel you can give them what they need, tell them. There’s more at stake than a quick sale, your reputation precedes you!

Ready to stop overthinking & start playing?

Before the call

How do you feel?

Spend a few moments getting into a really positive and effective state of mind and body.

Connect with the impact you make through working with your clients.

Set the intention for this call to be REALLY blooming good fun and useful for both of you.

Visualise your client leaving this call feeling exactly how you want them to (perhaps empowered, inspired) and, importantly, crystal clear as to what they want to do next.

Let go of any attachment to the outcome of this call. Let go of any need to people please…you’re here to support another human get clear on what they want & need.  If you have filtered effectively, the people who you’re investing your time in speaking with will be close to your ideal customers so your focus is simply on being there for them now.  Yes it would be lovely to make a sale but for now that’s not your focus.

Money is simply one of many ways to exchange energy and similar energies are attracted to each other. Get & stay in the energy you want your client to be in, and the rest will flow from here.

Imagine yourself being of highest service to your client and that whatever happens will be for the greater good of both of you.

If you are already a coach then if you consider these calls like a laser coaching session then you’re in a great frame of mind.  As long as you are coming from a place of service and valuing your resources and the person in front of you, you’re grand. Relax and connect with another human xx

The beginning of the call

Take a minute or so to explain to your client what will happen in your time together on the call. This helps the person in front of you feel safe and as such open up to you.

How long the call will be.

We’ll get clear on what you would love to achieve.

We’ll design a brief plan that will help you achieve what you want.

We’ll uncover any challenges and hiccups areas that may be slowing you down or sabotaging you.

If it feels like we’re a good fit then I’ll share how we could potentially work together to help you get the results you want.

You’ll leave with more energy, motivation and clarity to really make good things happen.

 How does that sound? (getting permission at this stage means you have a reference point to come back to at the end of the call to ensure they’ve experienced what you said you would, building trust)

Getting clear on what they REALLY want

>> Tell me a bit about what you currently do and what you would LOVE to have happen in your life and work.

>> If you could wave a magic wand and achieve something wonderful in the next next year, what would that be?  (Think about your health, wealth, work, relationships etc)

>> Imagine you have that in just the way you’d like to have that, what does that get for you? (or, What’s important to you about that?)

>> What would be the BEST part about that?

>> Why?

it’s important to establish what is driving the person in front of you because THIS is what will help you see how you can et serve them, and them decide if you are the best fit for them.

Making it tangible

“Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground.” – Theodore Roosevelt

>> If you could break this big wish into say 3 main parts or stages what would these be?

Help your client get REALLY clear on what they want so you both have a measure of success.

Uncovering hiccups and challenges

>> What is your current situation in your (area of focus)

>> What do you think could be standing in the way of you having (list all the juicy stuff you have helped them clarify that they would LOVE to have)

>>  What ELSE could you slowing you down or stopping you? (keep repeating until they have explored all possibilities)

>> What impact are these issues having on your (area of focus)?

>> How long have you had these challenges?

>> What have you done about them up until now?

>> How has having these challenges impacted on you?

>> What’s the WORST part about these challenges?

>> What’s it costing you right now? (energy, money, quality of relationships, health etc)

This bit is giving them the experience of working with you AND helping them further unpick and clarify what they want and need.

Trust yourself and shine!

Sensing readiness for change

>> If you don’t do something about these issues, what do you think will happen?

>> How soon do you want to turn things around and start experiencing the results you REALLY want?

>> Why do you feel like now is a good time to do take action?

>> Do you feel a sense of urgency to deal with/overcome ______ or is it something that if nothing’s changed in 6 months that’s ok?

>> Is having __________non negotiable for you?

>> Imagine for a moment you’ve overcome all these challenges and created ________ What’s that worth to you?

Is now really a good time for them?  If it is great! And if it’s not, that’s ok you both know and can take things from here. What are the competing priorities for them? Help them get clear on what there top priorities are.

Why you? Inspire them to see the benefit you bring!

> I hear you! (Share personal story or client success story that relates to their situation, including the result and positive changes. This is to encourage the person to see that what the want IS possible and that YOU may very well be the best person to help them achieve what they want)

> If you could release all of your challenges and start rocking your life and work, what would that do for you?

> What would be the BEST part of that?

Review & Reflect (it’s nearly over!)

>> We’re nearly finished here and I want to make sure you’ve got everything from our time together you expected.

>> Looping back to the beginning of our time together, do you feel clearer about what you would love to achieve in your (focus area)?

>> We created a plan to help you get a better sense of how you can tangibly make things happen.  We did this quickly so it probably needs a bit of fleshing out but are you clearer on what you need to work on to get the results you want?

>  I also wanted you to feel energised, inspired and motivated that you can REALLY make what you want happen.  Do you feel more motivated to take action and make good things happen now?

> We also uncovered some of your hiccup areas and challenges that could be slowing you down or stopping you.  These are super common….

Transitioning to proposition

> The issues you mentioned of (list all the challenges mentioned) are super common and I’ve worked with loads of people/got lots of experience helping people in similar situations work through these and start creating the life and work they really want.)

>> I have a program specifically for people in your situation, would you like to find out more about it?

Introducing how working with you works

This is about establishing the value of your coaching.  Relate everything in this section to your clients personal aspirations, values and the challenges they raised.

How do you support your clients?  Explain this to them.

For example, for my own coaching work…

I have 5 principles I support all my clients through.

I’ll help you appreciate yourself and the amazing potential that is in you right now to create whatever the heck you want to.

I’ll make sure you believe in yourself and the possibilities open to you.

You’ll get super clear on what you REALLY want and create a plan as to how you can make that happen.

Depending on how you choose to work with me, I’ll be with you as your supportive partner as you DO the work and take the actions you want & need to create the results you want, and be in the wings to help keep you on track.

And all throughout this I’ll be helping you develop your emotional intelligence and target your energy so you learn how to tap into inner resourcefulness…and discover your invincibility factor!

The structure of your service

Describe how you work with your clients.

If you prefer to offer bespoke proposals then say this now and suggest some possibilities to gauge you’re on the right track.

> I work with my clients for (no.weeks/months)

> We meet weekly/fortnightly/monthly for (length) time

> I’m available via email/text between sessions as well/whatever else you offer

Confirming they value your service

> Does that sound valuable/ useful so far?

What do you see as the benefit of us working together?

> How would your (area of focus) be different as a result of our time together?

Introducing the investment 

Most people get icky when it comes to the ‘money chat’…stop it! It’s simply a conversation that includes numbers.  Consider you’re talking about something that isn’t your own service so it’s purely factual.  Be clear in advance of your boundaries and what, if any, willingness or ability to wiggle you have.

> This program/service is £____ for which includes….

> £___ paid in full

> Take as long as you want to mull that over.

You may want to offer special ‘fast acting’ bonuses for making a decision to commit within a certain timeframe.  And you may want to offer a payment plan but remember if you are in the UK if you choose to offer a payment plan that is more expensive than the full price this is seen as the equivalent of an interest rate for which your business needs a credit licence. Please ask for legal advice specific to your business requirements to ensure your business stays compliant, I am not a legal expert.  I invite you to get clear on what your ideal situation is and how you can encourage your customer to behave in the way that serves your outcome.

>> Instead of £___for x if you decide to go ahead by the end of today/this week I’ll make it  £____

Give space for them to reflect and think.

Employ the acronym WAIT – Why Am I Talking 🙂


Overcoming objections/concerns

Be prepared to discuss common objections include:

‘I can’t afford it’

‘I’ll have to speak to my partner’

Be curious about these and coach them through them. Often objections  are polite distractions from belief in YOU or belief in THEMSELVES.

‘I’m not convinced YOU can deliver the results I want’

‘I’m not convinced I can make the changes I want to’

Stay focused on serving the best interests of the person in front of you.

How confident are you that your service is the best solution for that person? 

How confident are you that now is the best time for them to optimise the value they’ll get from working with you?

What do they need to make a decision that works for them?

Completing the sales conversation


>> Brilliant! So you’d like to go with ‘x service’, when would you like to start?

>> Fab! All we need to do now is organise your 1st payment and then I’ll send you out your welcome pack and we’re ready to rock and roll. How would you like to pay?  Paypal? Direct transfer? (Whatever your options are)

>> Magic! (explain your next steps)

> See very important notes to self

Very Important Notes to Self

Trust yourself and how YOU want to do business.

You may want to have a sales focused conversation in a separate call organised shortly after your discovery session. It’s your business and your rules, play with options and notice your energy and the results you get with each.  It may be person specific or you may prefer to have a set process. Do what works.

Support your potential client stay in that state of possibility and motivation until they can make a decision that’s right for them.

Focus on helping your client to make the best decision for them and you’ll both reap rewards. LET GO OF ANY ATTACHMENT YOU MAY HAVE TO THE OUTCOME, if you want happy clients you need to focus on THEIR wants and needs, not yours.

Even if they decide not to work with you right now, keep in touch and nurture the relationship. They may turn into a yes or refer other people to you…customer service is queen.

Have fun xxx

Let me know in the comments below how you get on!

If you’d like to download this in playbook form click here

Have you ever felt disappointed in your child?

Have you ever felt disappointed in your child?

My son doesn’t want to go to uni.  He doesn’t love learning.  He doesn’t seem to apply himself to life in the way that I would so love him to.

I’m disappointed, and I’ve told him so.

But, I’m NOT disappointed in HIM, far from it, 100% of my disappointment comes from me and the mismatch between the son I had created in my imagination and the son I have before me.


Here’s the thing, from the moment we become human we are creating scenarios in our minds about what could and what should be.

From the moment we become parents we start dreaming of the family life we want to have, of what we want for our children and how they might ‘turn out’. And we buy into these dreams. We invest in them!

Yet the contrast between what we want and what we are actually experiencing can be pretty stark….but there’s gold in there when we look.

Every contrast holds an invitation to remember what’s truly important to us and while we may be laser focused on what we DON’T want, there’s also a huge arrow pointing to what we DO want…which gives us power to do something about it.

Pain is inevitable…suffering isn’t.

Accept the pain when it comes, but we don’t need to hang out there in every moment. Instead, we can choose to take out power back and change what’s not working for us.

There’s truth is the saying ‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got’ 

You may feel that you have no choice. It may seem like the ONLY way you’ll feel ok again is if your child changes their ways.

If only….


But YOU have the power, YOU have a choice, we ALL do. Sometimes the alternatives may seem that they aren’t worth considering as they seem soooo difficult or wrong, but these are still options, they are simply ones you’re choosing to say no to.

The thing is to know that it’s not that person, your child, who is the disappointment.

YOU are FEELING disappointed about the contrast and disconnection between their actions in reality and the story you had created in your mind of what you wanted them to do and be. 

Your child/young person/human needs to know that your love for them isn’t conditional on them choosing behaviours that support the picture that YOU have created in YOUR head of them.

That’s YOUR story, not theirs.

They are creators too so let them create their own story and live that…and learn from the consequences of their own actions.


You don’t need to accept their behaviour, or approve of their choices but if you want them to become the very best human they can become then simple see, love and accept the human before you.

Teach them to trust themselves and own their own power, not to second guess what they ‘should’ be doing to be accepted and loved.

The disappointment you feel simply reflects this contrast within you, so stop getting angry and frustrated with them and look within instead.

What’s important to YOU?

What is it that YOU want that you’re deferring responsibility to your child to create or be? 

What does your child’s choices and behaviours get for YOU?

What do you need to let go of to really see the essence of them? 

Stop looking for evidence of how your child doesn’t meet YOUR needs and start looking at THEM.  Be curious, as if they are a new person in front of you and get to know them as a human rather than your child.

Of course you’re still the mammy or the daddy or whatever role you play and you have an amazing opportunity to influence them…and you ARE influencing them whether deliberately or positively or not; so get clear about the influence you want to have, the impact you want to have on them and then BE that.

‘Don’t do what I say, do what I do’ isn’t enough. 

Kids can see right through words and actions and deep into our what we truly believe about ourselves and them. 

Our young people are watching and learning from our every action so being YOUR best will encourage them to be THEIR best. Look within. The easiest way for your child to love themselves is to for you to love yourself. Lead with love and compassion. Shine. Make your own story so compelling that they want to be a part of it.

The son I have before me is pure gold and I love him with my heart and soul…and accept him for who he IS and I’ll continue to support him make good choices and be a good human. For him to lead with love. 

I have made so many mistakes along the way and I will continue to do so, and I own every one of them.  Yes, I’ve felt disappointed and I’ve told him so….I’ve told him about the story I created in my head, the person I made him into and what I’d love him to do and I’ve asked him to share with me the story HE is creating for HIS life and who he wants to be.  

He doesn’t know yet, he’s not clear, he looks at me like it’s motivational mum time…again. I felt another twinge of disappointment that my first born doesn’t get nor care for his conscious creation (he’s 17 so feel free to laugh at my ridiculously high expectations!) So yes, I have felt disappointed in my child, that he isn’t living the life I had created in my imagination but oh my goodness how excited I am to discover the life is HE is creating in his.

Have you felt disappointed in your child? I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts in the comments below.


What do you when Loving Kindness Meditation isn’t your bag

What do you when Loving Kindness Meditation isn’t your bag

Loving Kindness meditations are one of my favourite guided meditations BUT it’s not for everyone. There are many roads to Rome and while meditations have there place it’s counterproductive (combined with a healthy does of silly) to think that is only ONE way of achieving inner peace and acceptance.  Channel Goldilocks and explore until the penny drops and you’ve found something that works for you.


In the last decade the fascinating research field of positive emotion has exploded with studies showing that people who experience warmer, more upbeat emotions tend to live longer and healthier lives. In her book Love 2.0, Fredrickson (2013) argues that the highest positive emotion is love. The presence or absence of love influences everything we feel, do, think and become.


The “three loving connections” is an exercise that aims to cultivate the emotion of love by seeking out three meaningful interactions each day and reflecting on them each night. Preliminary findings suggest that actually recording these experiences triggers positive physiological effects in the body. In a pilot study, Kok (2012) suggested that taking one minute each day to record how ‘close’ and ‘in tune’ you feel when interacting with others can produce improved heart function and a boost in day-to-day positive emotions. Moreover, seeking positive micro moments may boost positive psychological well-being, which has been found to be positively correlated to health and to survival in both healthy and diseased populations (Chida & Steptoe, 2008; Howell, Kern, & Lyubomirsky, 2007).


The goal of this exercise is to increase the experience of love by seeking out three meaningful interactions each day and to reflect on them each night.

As with everything, try it and trust yourself. Trying something new is a dance with steps tempting you back to the familiar embrace of your comfort zone and others enticing you forwards towards new land. All dances take practice and some you’ll love while others will never be your thing.  Give it a good shot before making that call.

Step 1: Connect
Each day, look for three opportunities to interact and connect with others, for instance a relative, friend, colleague, or complete stranger. Each interaction can be with the same person or with three different people.

  • Approach this potential interaction with warmth, respect and good will
  • Make an effort to stay present and listen with an open heart
  • Offer your eye contact and (when appropriate) your touch
  • Share your own light-hearted thoughts and feelings

Step 2: Reflection 

Each night call to mind your three interactions. Rate each of the following statements on a scale of 1 (not true at all) to 7 (very true):

  • During these interactions, I felt “in tune” with the person/s around me.
  • During these interactions, I felt close to the person/s around me.

A low rating on both questions suggests that you did not really connect to the other person during the interaction. If so, you may reflect on the following questions:

  • Why did I feel not so connected to the other person?
  • What can I possibly do next time to enhance my connection with the other person?


Give it a shot and let me know what you think.

Any questions or observations drop your comments below and I’ll get back to you.