It’s time to take your cape off…

I see you, swirling your cape like the superhero you love to be…it’s a pretty cool look, and I KNOW it feels good. But it’s time to put it away. You can do it. Just back away from the cape….you’ve got this!

I feel you because I LOVE dressing up and channeling your favourite superhero IS cool!

(On a wee aside…who’s your fav? Me? I’m a She-ra gal…I mean c’mon…look at this gal rock!!😎💪🏼)

SO ….’It’s all good fun to PLAY at super heroes (yes even when you’re a grown up!) but are you playing the rescuer in real life too?

  • Do you watch out for people to help?
  • Do you run in and offer support at every opportunity?
  • Being supportive is a wonderful trait, but like anything it can be overplayed and when it is, it can be experienced as suffocating, patronising and disabling to the other people. And I bet that’s a million miles away from your intention.

Here’s the thing,

                      ALL meaningful change comes from within.

Think about it…you cut your skin and you might put a plaster over it…sometimes that plaster can be useful and sometimes not so much. Yet 100% of the healing of your skin came from you and NONE from the plaster.

 You didn’t need the plaster for your skin to mend. In fact, depending on the depth & type of cut, it healed faster with absolutely no intervention. A plaster is often just a visual reminder to take care of yourself as your body heals.

And fess up, when you see someone with a plaster you’re curious, right?  A little bit of you wonders what lies beneath…what happened. And…are they…ok? 

 ‘My what a big plaster you have’..as your salacious rescuer juices begin to flow… 

 I love the metaphor of the birth. When a butterfly is ready to come into the world it struggles to chew through the threads of its’ cocoon. Well meaning people can see this struggle and feel they ‘should help’, and cut a larger hole for the butterfly to escape with greater ease. Yet without the struggle of the squeeze the butterflies wings don’t grow strong and ultimately is unable to fly.

 Much like human birth, it’s a struggle for both mum & baby yet that struggle is needed for the baby to clear it’s lungs and the mum to heal and trigger the next stage of parenthood.

 Struggle is part of life, yet we struggle seeing other people struggle…and so we put our capes on, ‘to help’.

 Learned helplessness has also been associated with several different psychological disorders. Depression, anxiety, phobias, shyness, and loneliness can all be exacerbated by learned helplessness….

So, I wonder how taking your cape off could help you and the people around you thrive from the inside out?

 

 

 

 

 

Be the human you want your child to be

“You do not have to make your children into wonderful people. You just have to remind them that they ARE wonderful people. If you do this consistently from the day they are born they will believe this easily.” William Martin

It’s easy to lose touch with the fact that our kids are innately wonderful…they don’t need fixed or changed, they need understood and accepted, and maybe a wee bit of shining up here and there as they forget the awesomeness of who they really are and learn to lead their lives with love 😎

Yet this is what we ALL need!! YOU are wonderful, you’ve just lost touch with that gorgeous fact.

If you have children in your life I invite you to stop focusing entirely on them (not in a neglectful way just taking the foot off the pedal slightly!) and start focusing on yourself.

YOU are your children’s role model (and the range of young people in your life) ‘Do as I say not as I do’ doesn’t work!!! Kids are savvy, they KNOW when you are lying to them AND yourself.
They pick up on your dissatisfaction, your lack of self belief and your flagging energy.

So DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You creating the life and work YOU want IS NOT SELFISH….in fact it’s the absolute opposite as you living a fulfilling live you love teaches your children how to do the same. It teaches them that they have permission to be the wonderful soul they are.

So this is a polite reminder that YOU are wonderful so get a grip of yourself and start shining…if not for yourself to begin with, for the young people around you ❤️

Songs for self isolation

Songs for self isolation

It’s a bonkers time in our world just now which means it’s SUPER important to look after ourselves.     

How do you stay in and get back into a high vibe? I know music is a big part of my life and being ok…and also having a giggle. In uncertain times find your own Cocktail of Calm and make sure you drink it!

Here’s some of the ingredients in my Cocktail, I wonder what’s in yours?

 

Queen: I Want to Break Free 

For the parents who love their kids (or partner), but don’t really like being with them 24/7 😉

 

Louis Armstrong: What a wonderful world

Because it is.

Bee Gees: Staying Alive 

For when you’re wearing your sassy pants, just strut to this when you’re still in your goonie at lunchtime.

MC Hammer: You can’t touch this 

For when your partner wants to get jiggy but they’ve not washed their hands….just bust out these moves!

Britney Spears: Toxic

To sing to your friends who ask you to go out. You know that you’re toxic, I ain’t going out mate

 

Bob McFerrin: Don’t Worry, Be Happy 

Cos we can only do what we can do…love each other, be a good human and let all the other shit go.

Divinyls: I Touch Myself

Perhaps you shouldn’t but we all do…

Johnny Clash: We’ll Meet Again

For the extroverts who are really missing touching people. It wont be long!

It’s a bonkers time we’re living in right now which means it’s REALLY important to look after ourselves.  How do you stay or get back into a good vibe?  Music’s a biggie for me and ti may be for you too…here’s a few on my playlist if/when the time comes I need to stay home.

What songs would you add?  Sharing’s caring so pop em in the comments so I can listen to them!

The power of now

We spend so much of our time and energy living in the past or the future when these places exist only in our minds.

The ONLY place we have power is this moment.

Right now.

 

 

The 5 F’s of getting organised

I’ve been clearing out and decluttering ready for some fresh energy and a life shake up!

And it’s been tough!! Yeeeeears worth of mementoes to pour over (it’s a skilled avoidance tactic 😇)

But it HAS been made a LOT easier with the 5 F’s:

  • Fix it (Do)
  • Fling it (Ditch or Delete)
  • Forward it (Delegate)
  • File it (Defer)
  • Have Fun!

I read Marie Kondo’s Art of Decluttering and she advocates asking 2 simple questions, is it useful? Does it bring you joy? Which to be honest sounds fab BUT I’m wired to find joy in freaking EVERYTHING so for me I found that was tough.

Like any strength, we bring them to life in different ways in different context and in the context of decluttering my strength o appreciation of beauty is overplayed and I need to leverage my other strengths instead.

Hence an injection of structure…and it works!

No method in and of itself is ‘right’.

It’s understanding yourself and how you operate best then creating your own YOUPrint rather than be disappointed with other people’s blueprints 🤩

Have you found your preferred way to declutter and organise?