Are your words keeping you stuck?

Are your words keeping you stuck?

When we feel stuck it feels impossible to get unstuck doesn’t it?

What are you saying that’s keeping you stuck?

Because it’s the energy of our intention that really makes the difference.

I NEED to get a new job.

I HAVE to sell x number of products.

I SHOULD feel happy.

Do you feel the attachment to what you don’t want in those statements?

The words we use help create our experience or the world…so it’s worth becoming more aware of what you’re saying.

Take responsibility for and respect your own energy.

Focus on what you want because I want DOES get.

I want a job that inspires and fulfils me.

I want to sell x number of products or more.

I’m ok not feeling happy just now as I know how I’m feeling now will pass and happiness will shine through soon.

Notice the difference?

What we resist persists.

So acknowledge and accept where you are now, get clear on what you REALLY want, step into the energy of that and use words that are aligned with this energy.

Enjoy making good shit happen!

111 Acts of Conscious Kindness

When thinking about conscious acts of kindness you might like to do ask yourself:

  • How can I make life easier for someone?
  • How can I make life nicer for someone?
  • How can I make where I live nicer?
  • How can I make the world around me a nicer place to be?
  • How can I make a positive difference to the environment?
  • How can I make a positive difference to those around me?
  • Who needs help?

Here are 111 simple ideas to help you get started…and there’s a whole lot more you’ll be able to imagine too!

Just imagine the world when we are leading with love and being consciously kind.

Let’s be the change we want to see!

 
  1. Send a surprise gift to a friend
  2. When you have time left on your parking ticket give it to someone else if it’s allowed so they can benefit.
  3. Notice when a parking meter ticket has expired and top it up for them.
  4. Do a friend or neighbours gardening for them.
  5. Offer to take a friends children for a few hours so she/they can go on a date or just have an uninterrupted bath!
  6. Take a neighbour or friends dog for a walk.  Notice who in your community is frail or going through a hard time…if they have a pet offer to help.
  7. Send a thank you card for receiving good service or enjoying a particular product – the absolute opposite of the usual notes of complaint!
  8. Meal share – cook more than you need and share with a friend, family member or neighbour
  9. Write a letter explaining what you love about that person and why you are happy they are in your life – and give it to them.
  10. Give someone flowers – just because.
  11. Phone or even better visit an elderly relative or neighbour. Social isolation is sadly very common – you might be the only person to contact them today, this week or this month.
  12. Stock up on gifts when you see them in sales or whenever you see something nice and leave them on peoples doorsteps or windscreen with a message from the universe…have some fun!
  13. Leave money in a vending machine with a note saying – have a drink on me!
  14. When someone asks for change, give them it but refuse to take the money for it…and run away leaving them richer in love AND money!
  15. Pay for someone behind you in the drive through or in a cafe.
  16. Pick up litter when you see it.
  17. Get together with some friends and clean up your local area.
  18. Join in with a charity event – often giving your time is just as valuable as contributing cash.
  19. Buy someone a lottery ticket.
  20. Offer your skills to someone to help them out.
  21. Smile at strangers…and maybe even say hello 🙂
  22. Send a nice email to someone telling them you are thinking of them and give them a specific compliment.
  23. Leave a book you have read and enjoyed in the park or cafe with a note inside telling the recipient to take it and enjoy the read.
  24. Clear out belongings you don’t need and donate to charity.
  25. Clear out belongings you don’t need and host a swap evening.
  26. Clear out belongings you don’t need, sell them and buy a gift for someone else.
  27. Notice on gumtree or free-cycle what people are looking for and if you have it, give it them or find a way to help.
  28. Bring snacks to work to share with your colleagues.
  29. Speak to a homeless person/beggar/vulnerable person – find out their story and give them your time and focus.  Make them feel valued and important.
  30. When the person behind you in the supermarket aisle only has a couple of items, let them go ahead of you.
  31. When you don’t have a loyalty card (and even when you do, kid on you don’t!) offer the person behind you to add the value of your shopping to their card.
  32. Host a party – just because people want to have fun!
  33. When you run your own errands, ask other people if they need anything. 
  34. Check in on your neighbours to make sure they are ok – bring a wee gift (home made or bought – no judgement here, it’s all about the thought!)
  35. Plant a tree, or bush or plants – they not only look lovely but are good for our planet.
  36. Consciously eat less meat, especially processed.  Your health will benefit as well as the planet.
  37. Shop local rather than in multinational companies.  Your money will go directly to ‘real’ people and you community will benefit.
  38. Do your friends hair, makeup, nails – something to make them feel beautiful and make the experience effortless for them.
  39. When shopping with a friend, notice what they like and go back and buy it if you can.
  40. Give someone a hug – human contact is vital to our wellbeing.
  41. Find out how you can volunteer – some opportunities are only an hour a month, we ALL can do that! 
  42. Babysit, dog sit or/and housesit for  someone to make their life easier.
  43. Spend 15 minutes checking in with your Facebook ‘friends’ and connect with them properly.  Post thoughtful comments on their posts.
  44. Send a postcard to a sick child to cheer them up http://www.sendkidstheworld.com/
  45. Let someone take your parking space.
  46. Let someone overtake you or jump in the queue on the motorway.
  47. Give blood.
  48. If you can, register as an organ donor and tell your friends and family.
  49. Tidy up wherever you are, leave the world a more beautiful place because of your presence.
  50. Tell a street performer how awesome they are.
  51. Offer your seat to someone who needs it more – whether a pregnant woman, an infirm person or a group of people who would like to sit together.
  52. Offer to pick up your kids friends from school and keep them for dinner to give their parents a breather AND a little person some funsies 🙂
  53. Give your loyalty card points/stamp to the person next to you in the queue.
  54. When you’ve collected enough stamps on your loyalty card to get your free coffee, ask for it to be given to someone in the cafe.
  55. Write a letter to thank a member of staff for their great customer service.
  56. Send a handwritten card to a friend – just because 🙂
  57. Get in touch with your local volunteering agency and find out what help they need.
  58. Host a tea party for your neighbours to get to know them – we don’t need an occasion to celebrate! There are organisations that can help you do this, such The Big Lunch, Contact the Elderly)
  59. Ask some people what their secret wishes are…and do what you can to grant them 🙂
  60. Book time out to do something nice for yourself.
  61. Attend a community event – there’s a lot of effort that goes into the organisation and the support of people showing up is always appreciated.
  62. Do a drive by gift drop…leave an unexpected gift at someones doorstep, ring their bell and run away!
  63. What’s draining the people around you?  Listen to see if there is something on their list that you could do for them.
  64. Hold the door open for a stranger….or even someone you know because good manners are actually little acts of kindness.
  65. De-ice your neighbours windscreens so they don’t have to.
  66. Donate items to the food bank.
  67. Take your neighbours bins out…and perhaps even bring them back in.
  68. Offer your seat on the train or bus to someone else, especially pregnant or infirm people (back to old fashioned good manners!)
  69. Really listen in the next conversation you have, the gift of being truly heard is beautiful.
  70. Take supplies to an animal shelter.
  71. Create a holiday to celebrate someone you love (like a Saints day…the Queen has more than one birthday so when not the rest of us? 😉  Your appreciation day can be as simple as declaring the date of the holiday and writing a note of thanks each year to that person…or you can fill your boots and do everything you can to let that person know they are amazing!
  72. Make a ‘Your Awesome jar’ for someone special.  Put 50–100 post it notes in a box or jar and write something that is special about that person on each (a special memory, something you admire about them, what you like about them etc). Gift the person the jar box and tell them to pick a post it every day to remind them of how special they are.
  73. Share overheard compliments. Why gossip about stuff that drains us when we can share the love and admiration we have for each other?
  74. Be honest about your feelings, so many of us feel we have to put a face on that you being open about your experience and how you felt will encourage others to open up too. Notice how the conversation changes as you become more confident about  speaking your truth.
  75. After a wedding or party donate all the flowers to a nursing home. Better still find out individual residents names and deliver them personally.
  76. Write a love note to a stranger (or someone you know). Post it or leave it for them to find (look at www.moreloveletters.com for inspiration)
  77. Don’t wait until someone gets old or dies to remember the good times…live is for living and celebrating right now!  Create an incredible gift now by getting friends and family members to provide stories, anecdotes and photos. Your friend will forever cherish the book you’ll put together. If you can’t make an entire book, just sharing your fond memories is appreciated.
  78. Put a surprise note or sketch in your child’s, partners, flatmates lunch box so they are reminded of how much they are loved.
  79. Share a joke and make someone giggle.
  80. When people are gossiping about someone, be the person to change the energy and chip in with something nice to say.
  81. Loan money to a third world entrepreneur through Kiva. These tiny investments change the lives of the families who receive them, and 99% of the loans are paid back.
  82. Teach someone. We can all teach something, and sometimes the small things make the biggest difference.
  83. Post positive & inspiring notes in unexpected places.
  84. Connect people and make helpful introductions.
  85. Make care packages for people who you think may need it in your community and deliver them. You could always leave at at their door with a note so they don’t know it’s you.
  86. Allow someone to help you, give them the opportunity to get the feel good feelings that come from helping!
  87. If you pass a car with an expired parking ticket, buy them some extra time.
  88. Put your phone away and spend undistracted time with yourself and those around you.  The gift of your time and attention is truly precious.
  89. Talk to the person sitting alone…although be mindful that they may actually want to be alone!
  90. Make an effort to welcome and get to know the new person in work or in your neighbourhood.
  91. Give away stuff for free on freecycle, gumtree or other such site.
  92. When you’re throwing something away on the street, pick up any litter around you and put that in the trash too.
  93. Send someone an anonymous gift (a neighbour, colleague or ex colleague, friend)…and enjoy hearing about them trying to figure out who it was!
  94. Say thank you to the cleaners and janitors…essential and often overlooked staff.
  95. Give a genuine compliment to your boss, they are often overlooked too!
  96. Bring an extra umbrella to work so you can give or lend it to someone when it pours.
  97. Get in touch with friends you haven’t seen in ages.
  98. Adopt an attitude of gratitude and every day celebrate at least 3 things that make your life easier.
  99. Be patient….it’s a virtue! That person may be having a tough day or just processes information differently than you. You’ll all get there 😍
  100. 100. Drive less, carpool, walk or cycle and reduce your carbon footprint.
  101. 101. Encourage other people to create the life and work they      REALLY want!
  102. 102. WAIT: Why Am I Talking? Be aware of giving other people space and time to think and speak too.
  103. Be thoughtful, if someone has had a bad day, what would they appreciate that will lighten their day?
  104.  Make a conscious effort to stop doing be things that frustrate the people you work and live with.
  105. Find the goodness in people you don’t really like or who have wronged you in some way….EVERYONE has positive qualities and letting go of anger is an enormous kindness to yourself.
  106.  Say what you see. When you see a well behaved child or loving relationship, let the people involved know. We so often don’t see the beauty in our own lives that when a stranger shares what they see it’s extremely powerful and uplifting.
  107.  Let someone else have their way…and  enjoy their happiness.
  108. Hold a fundraiser for a cause close to your heart…it’s a great way to gather people together too!
  109. Help someone with their chores…decorating, cleaning, organising because team work does make the dream work!
  110. Give someone a gift card and walk away.
  111. Lead with love…wherever you go, whatever you do, ask yourself is what I’m about to do loving and kind to myself AND to others? If not then tweak until it is.
     
Do you struggle accepting support?

Do you struggle accepting support?

Accepting you need support isn’t a weakness, it’s a freaking strength and I would LOVE for us all to acknowledge this.

Looking for, or simply accepting the support that’s available, is the next step and that takes a strong person to do this too.

The thing about being human is we ALL feel alone sometimes in these bodies of ours but we’re not. We’re all part of something far bigger as each and every one of us are connected in some weird and wonderful way.

We ALL feel that we should be able to sort our shit ourselves but just because we think something doesn’t make it true.

Of course it’s good to be able to self manage but not to the point that we forget the power that surrounds us and we can plug into at ANY time.

Even the most fiercely independent people benefit from the support of others to lead their lives in the way they do…yet just because this support is less visible or more socially acceptable makes it no less of an aide.

From the electricity, water and gas coming into our homes to our street lights, roads, shops and cash machines. Our teams at work, our families & friends. They all do things that support us.

But THESE are ‘acceptable’ supports. Ones we don’t judge each other for needing or using.

Yet when we need more personal support whether physically or mentally THAT is when we starting judging ourselves and others, believing that somehow this makes us ‘less than’.

Less than what though? What or whom are we comparing ourselves too?

Because if we ALL need support of different kinds at different stages, then what’s the issue?

If we ALL feel alone and stuck sometimes, why do we keep pretending otherwise?

Accepting support allows other people to use their talents.

Think about it, everyone has gifts and for them to actually USE these gifts they need people to want them.  Whether this is making music where having people who are willing to receive and hear this music, breathing life into it’s creation.  I was talking to my daughter about the importance of showing up not just for your own wellbeing but for others too. I’m part of a Rock Choir just now, I go for fun and it’s great. Singing is a brilliant way of shifting your energy and it’s been shown to have a positive impact on wellbeing.  So I go for purely selfish reasons but my attendance and everyone else’s has a strong positive ripple effect. Our attendance creates a group that has nurtured friendships, it has created a viable work opportunity for the leader to show up and shine doing what she is absolutely gifted doing.  And our attendance has also helped the founders create more business success which results in them paying their taxes which support our schools, health and communities.  I accept the support of this group to enjoy singing and get better at singing and this

Accepting support allows the people who love us to feel secure in knowing we’re ok.

You’re loved. It’s time to accept this as true. People worry about you and want you to be ok so when you are wearing your stubborn lone wolf pants, this is admirable but can be problematic. We’ve all been there, not wanting to ask for help or admit we’re struggling…all the while our neighbours, friends, colleagues and family are getting wrinkles with their concern because they KNOW you’re not ok.  YOU ARE NOT PUTTING PEOPLE OUT, you’re easing their minds.

Accepting support helps us to live our best lives.

We are all ‘disabled’ in some way…that’s why that term is pants and I feel it’s more helpful to consider us all as differently abled.  Some of us struggle with mobility and some of us struggle with memory, communication with ourselves and/or others, emotional regulation…the list goes on.  Yes some things have medical labels but the label isn’t the cure.  In fact their may never be a cure as such and that’s ok, because you’re ok as you are.  It’s not your difference that’s the issue as much as how people relate to this difference.  Being our best is a lot easier with the understanding of others and the odd external support.  I love having a cup of tea made for me when I’m busy.  I used to say no, I’d get myself one later. Now I say thank you and I mean it.

Accepting support breaks the bullshit cycle that accepting support isn’t ok and gives the secret nod to those who are still scared to say YES and reach out.

Lead by example.  It’s all very well talking a good game about how terrible the world that we judge each other and we all should be more supportive BUT if you are still struggling to receive then YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. Sorry for the caps but it needs emphasised.  More people then you realise are watching and learning from you. This is not about becoming needy, it’s appreciating the ebb and flow of life and you being part of that: give and receive, receive and give.

Don’t do as I say, do as I do.  Actions are far more powerful than words.

So take a deep breath, stop being so bloody stubborn and either ask for what you need or simply accept the support that’s already being offered to you.

Big love,

Me xx

PS.  Sometimes people are so stuck in their own darkness it’s seems impossible to reach out and make an ask or admit how they are really feeling.  This is ok and why it’s so important we work together and acknowledge and respect our differences. Be a gentle light in their darkness so they can begin to see the light switch beside them and can turn it back on when they are ready.  Darkness has healing qualities so don’t rush someone who is in a different place to you simply because you’re uncomfortable with it.

Let me know your thoughts and reflections in the comments below, I love hearing from you! xx

When everyone else’s life looks better than yours

When everyone else’s life looks better than yours

How often have you compared your life to other people?

And perhaps more importantly how often do you end up feeling that YOUR life isn’t as good as THEIR life?

That ‘the grass is greener on the other side’ feeling.  It’s happened to all of us at some stage hasn’t it?

Whether you are working full time and envying the people who work part time or run their own business.

Are you running a business right now?  You may well sometimes envy the simplicity and security of people who have a job…and the paid holidays where someone looks after your workload, or at least makes sure thing don’t hit the fan!

Or if you work part time you may feel less worthy than your full time colleagues.  And if you are a stay at home parent you may feel uncomfortable around the working parents because your day is less frantic ergo it’s of less value.

But here’s the thing – own your life choice.  YOU have decided to do the thing you are doing for a reason so remind yourself of that.  And if you have fallen into it….now is a great time to get conscious again and figure out what makes you continue to do it…because you don’t have to.

There are ALWAYS alternatives.  Envy is a blooming useful emotion because it shines light on the things we want.

Use it then let it go…because envy also has an amazing gift of zapping your resourcefulness and leaving you feeling drained and antsy!  What is it about that guy doing what he does that appeals?  What is it about HIS choice that makes you feel that YOUR choice is somehow inadequate?  It may be that there is juice there to tweak your own life to enhance your own satisfaction.  If, on reflection, your life choice does work for you. Own it, embrace it and make the most of it. Because life moves on, new stages comes, new opportunities come but you will NEVER have right now again.

Love the life you have first.

#beworklifehappy

 

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