Curveballs & Crossroads: Stop giving away your power!

Curveballs & Crossroads: Stop giving away your power!

I wanted to swing by and talk to you about owning your power. What are you struggling with?

What are your challenges in your life just now, and are you denying them?

Are you denying your struggles?

Are you denying your challenges?

Because here’s the thing.

Until you own it, you can’t change it.

The power of owning where you are RIGHT now is enormous, because that’s all any of us have got.

So, no matter what is going on for you, reflect on it, figure out where exactly you are, and just stand proud there to say, “You know something? What’s going on is what’s going on”. And THEN decide where you want to go, because a wonderful thing is, where you are right now is pure and simply in some way the combination of all the previous decisions you have made in your life up until now, and sometimes where you are right now, is just a result of quite a few of life’s wonderful curve balls and there’s nothing at all you can do about it. And so many of us beat ourselves up. So many of us feel really bad about the situation we are in, and NONE of that helps at all.

The only thing that helps is just admitting,

I am where I am. This is my situation right now, and then DO something about it if you want things to change.

So, my short and sweet invitation to you today is, guess what? Own it.

  • If you are not experiencing in the life and work that you really truly want to yet, own that.
  • If you have not got that relationship so you really want in your life as it stands right now, own that.
  • If your health and well-being isn’t where you want it to be, own that, and then do something about it.

This conversation came up because I was talking about my wee mum, and for those of you who know, when I was growing up, my mum didn’t keep well, her mental health wasn’t great. She had a thing called schizophrenia, which made it really tough work growing up with her. But you know what was really tough?     

It wasn’t her mental ill health at all. It was the fact that she didn’t own it.

So, when times were tough for her, and there was numerous times when life was really really tough for her, and life was very very confusing for her, at no point, did she step up and own it.

So, afterwards, she would just be embarrassed and she would put her head in the sand, and it was very very confusing for us as children, and actually very confusing for me as an adult, because she never owned it.

And that’s the thing. It really doesn’t matter what’s going on…it’s your mind monkeys of how other people would respond, and the irony is they are probably feeling your denial. And the wonderful thing is, other people love you, they care for you and they just want you to take your head out of the sand as well.

So, do that. Just own it.

No matter what happens and what’s going on for you, accept it first, because when you stop reisisiting ou can can spend that energy DOING something about it.

Own your power, take it back because every single second that you are not standing there admitting, “I am where I am”, you are giving away your power as to where, also how you can move forward.

Think about it as a sat nav. Your life as a sat nav. You need to know where you are right now, to program it properly to take you wherever you want to go.

If you don’t know where you are right now, the sat nav cannot tell you, cannot help you move forward and get you where you really want to be.

So, admit it you are where you are, and that is okay even if you don’t like it.

Own it and move forward.

What’s your thoughts?  Drop a comment below and let me know what resonated here.

Why your weaknesses aren’t a bad thing

Why your weaknesses aren’t a bad thing

Strengths and weaknesses. It’s a funny, old thing and something I could talk all day about. But here’s the thing. We’ve all been in work and we’ve had our development review and we’ve probably all had a manager, who focused straight on our weaknesses…

Anyway, we’ve been in that a few, when our manager has focused on our weaknesses and given us this development plan over how we can overcome our weaknesses, because that’s important thing for the organisation, so you can be the most productive team member, and you have really got to be the whole package. And then, comes in the strengths approach and the strengths approach is kind of the opposite of that, if you like

And the strengths approach is about focusing on your strengths. Now, your strengths are all the things that you’re really, really strong at, funnily enough, the things that energise you, the things that you’re naturally good at, and the wonderful thing is that we need strengths and weaknesses. There is no one person in the world that can be the whole package. But when it comes to our own development, we have kind of mean of our weaknesses as a dirty word, if you like. So, when a strengths approach come in, a lot of people start to think it’s not okay to focus on your weaknesses. That it’s not appropriate when actually, we have all got them. So, why the heck is it not appropriate to be aware of what you’re not so good at, what’s not appropriate is for you to focus on them and…

What’s really, really important is you to be aware of what your weaknesses are, so you can counteract them because as I’ve said no one person can be the whole package. That is why teamwork makes a team work. After all, every organisation, every family needs a variety of different people who are all good at different things, and when everybody is good at different things, then that collective comes together and it’s so much stronger. So, be aware of your weaknesses

Be aware of what they are because when you’re aware of what your strengths are, then that gives you the power to go looking for somebody that has got a strength in your area of weakness. Does that make sense? So, my invitation to you here, is just become aware of what your strengths are, what you absolutely rocking rule at, what energizes you, but also on the things that you’re not so good at. Don’t be scared of them. The only thing there, is become aware of it, so you can counteract it. It’s really, really, really that simple.

If you are a manager, if you are working with young people, or you have got family, whatever, be careful around encouraging people to develop their area of weakness. Often it’s far easier and far more productive, far more effective to just accept that person, that they are rocking and ruling at all of this stuff, and they’re not so good at that. So, let’s get them lots of opportunities and whatever role you see them in, and you are involved with them in, use them in that area of strength, use them so that they are actually energized doing all the things you want them to do. And then, find another way to fill in the stuff, to train someone and do it all for your own life.

99% of people who I see, who are really stressed out and unfulfilled, and they think they hate their jobs and all of that, they don’t actually really hate their job. 

Lots of people who think that they’re fed up and frustrated in their job, and it’s not their job that’s the problem. It’s how they’re doing it. So, actually, when you become aware of what your strengths are and how your rock and roll, then you can start approaching your job or whatever work you do… it doesn’t have to be an employed job… when you can carve that out using your strengths, when you can become aware of the things that you are spending your time on… and if you are aware that that’s actually play in to your weaknesses, then that gives you the power to do something about it.

So, don’t be scared of your weaknesses. Just become aware of them, own them, do something about it. And then, you’ll find that you’ll get a far better results, and you’ll feel a lot better about it. That’s me. Don’t be scared to your weaknesses, just own it.

What’s your vision for your life and work?

What’s your vision for your life and work?

Are you clear about what you want to experience in your life and work?

That’s all a vision is, simply a focused intention of what we want…and it makes life soooo much simpler!

When we we know what we want and what’s important to us, we can use that as our guiding light.

Have a decision to make?

All you now need to do is check in with whether it is in line with your values and whether it support you to create the experiences you want. It’s never the ‘things’ in life that we REALLY want but what they get for us. Of course ‘things’ are nice….that job you want, the house or car but when push comes to shove things outside of you have limited influence on how you FEEL.

And when we let ourselves be guided by our feelings, it’s a win:win. We enjoy the journey AND when we’re enjoying ourselves we have so much more access to the amazing bank of resources within us which means we get better results.

So, my invitation to you is…if you’ve not already, spend some time getting clear on what your vision is for your life and work.

What is REALLY important to you?

What are the tangible things that you want?

What will they get for you?

How do you want to feel?

It’s time well spent! xx

Is love all we need?

Is love all we need?

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And yes, there are tools within NLP that can help that change and understanding come more quickly but please don’t think of it as being a set of mind tricks that someone can ‘do’ to you.

YOU do the work (I’m there facilitating but YOU’RE the one whose mind is getting a run for it’s money!)

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